Monday, May 5, 2008

The best-paid teacher in the land

In January, I told my students about a zany plan of mine: to buy a life-size cardboard cut-out of myself. (I like for them to worry that I'm crazy.) I told them how it would simplify my life to have the cardboard Mrs. G monitor the hall while I was catching up with a student who'd been out sick, or to have cardboard Mrs. G stand sentry over sleepyheads while we read Shakespeare. I mused aloud about how fun it would be to put different outfits, and even faces on a giant paper-doll me. Then I added my hidden nanny-cam plot for glowing red eyes on the artificial me, so I'd never need to worry about what was going on when a sub was in my place.

They laughed in ways that ranged from polite to disturbed to rollicking, and we moved on to the finer points of MLA citations. Another scheme of mine forgotten (like the one where I come to school in disguise and insist I'm a substitute). Or not.

Today, my club--the Literary Guild-- surprised me with a year-end gift. They plotted for months and even involved yearbook photographers so that they could make my dream a reality. Today, the club president called an "emergency" meeting so that they could grant my wish. I was near tears. It may be the best gift I've ever received.

I spent the afternoon strolling through the school, arm around my other self, making teachers, students, administrators, custodians envious. Everyone wishes they'd thought of my idea...and had a group of students like my after-school crew. If every day were like today, there would never be a teacher shortage.


  1. I'm so happy that your dream became reality. What a good bunch of kids! Have fun with your new friend.

  2. That is too freaking cool! I am truly jealous. :)

  3. Have you given any thought to mechanizing your other "you"? Maybe just some rollers so the she can move around a bit. You could even get one of those recordable gift cards and record message and attach it to her back.

    "No running in the halls"...

    "Put out that cigarette"...

    "Time for a pop quiz"...

    Imagine the free time this could create for you!

  4. Wonderful gift!

    I like Scott's idea.

  5. You know, kids only do that when they have a truly inspiring teacher.

  6. i came to your blog from grey eyed scorpio's because i was intrigued by the life size cut out. i was not disappointed by my visit. how fun and creative!!!

  7. ooops! i meant i came to you from la alicia's blog. too many windows open on my mac!!

  8. How cool is that gift? I'm sure it's a day you'll never forget.